I Guess I Was Homeless?

In the song "Back to Me Without You" by The Band Perry has a line that says "If its true home is where the heart is. I guess now I'm homeless."

These lyrics ring home to me. When I moved in with my cousin a little more than a year and a half ago, I didn't feel like I was home. I felt like I was a visitor, even with my room set up and a space of my own. I was puzzled, because after being there for month I still felt like a visitor in her home. Also this wasn't the first time my cousin and I had lived together. This went on for several months, and then one day it hit me like a cement truck. It was because my mamaw was there. Home had always been where my mamaw was  since I was 5 years old. See I had moved in with my cousin on the day that my mamaw had died, and the week before she had died, my mamaw and I had been staying with my cousin.

My home was technically not gone. Yes, I had a roof over my head, and a bed to call my own, but it wasn't home. As I said home had always been where mamaw was, and now she was gone.

It took me a while to feel at home. But my heart had to heal from being heart broken from losing my mamaw. Let me say, it wasn't nothing my cousin was doing, she tried everything to make me feel at home, it was just a state of mind. It was apart of my grieving process. I had just lost another parent figure in my life. Today, I feel just fine and at home, but it did take me a few months.

When I heard The Band Perry song, which isn't really about death, it's more about a break up, but parts of the song spoke to me about losing a loved one. Isn't a death sort of like a break up though?

Have you ever felt like you were a visitor in a place that was suppose to be your home?

Peaceful and Happy Thought,
--Rue