Ever had a hard time peeling a banana and end up bruising it. Peel in from the bottom. It works. It's the Monkey Way.
--Rue.
Friday, June 27, 2014
Big Change
Here within the next few months, there are several big changes happening in my family. I can't go into much detail because I don't want to jinx anything, but as of right now, everything seems to be falling into place as we are starting to put things into motion. I ask for you all to pray for me and my family as this change is happening, and when it happens and everything has been in place, I will let you all know.
Peaceful and Happy thoughts,
--Rue.
Peaceful and Happy thoughts,
--Rue.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
I love rainy days.
As the title shows, I love rainy days especially here lately. I was driving down the road today and noticed a pond in one of the farms that I pass every day, is almost dried up. We are in so much need of rain. Here, it seems we get a little. but it's not enough to deal with the need. I am not sure if we are technically in a drought, but as the pond shows, we are needing rain.
Besides needing the rain, I love to play in the rain. When I was in college, one of the many fond memories I have with my best friend, Kyla, is playing in the rain during one summer. During this we laid down in the middle of our street, which wasn't busy, and just laid there and let the rain fall.
A rainy day for me is perfect for staying in the house curling up with a book. I guess that's the book worm in me. What am I saying I can read a book anywhere, but I love hearing the rain on the roof while reading. Follow my reading adventures on my book blog http://ruesbookworld.blogspot.com/ .
In the summers I love rainy days for they tend to be cooler than sunny days. Don't get me wrong I love beautiful sunny days, but during the summer months, they are almost get too hot to be out in them.
Peaceful and Happy thoughts,
--Rue.
Besides needing the rain, I love to play in the rain. When I was in college, one of the many fond memories I have with my best friend, Kyla, is playing in the rain during one summer. During this we laid down in the middle of our street, which wasn't busy, and just laid there and let the rain fall.
A rainy day for me is perfect for staying in the house curling up with a book. I guess that's the book worm in me. What am I saying I can read a book anywhere, but I love hearing the rain on the roof while reading. Follow my reading adventures on my book blog http://ruesbookworld.blogspot.com/ .
In the summers I love rainy days for they tend to be cooler than sunny days. Don't get me wrong I love beautiful sunny days, but during the summer months, they are almost get too hot to be out in them.
Peaceful and Happy thoughts,
--Rue.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Learning to Cook.
I know how to cook sort of. I had to learn to cook a lot of things with my job when I was working on the weekends, for I had to cook two meals a day. I am still learning. Les is slowly teaching me how to cook. I know how to make BBQ pork and can even make BBQ from scratch. I can even use the grill. I made cornbread the other night. I didn't let it get as brown as I like it, but it was fine cause all I made it for was for cornbread and milk.
One thing that I haven't gotten the hang of is making gravy. For some reason I cannot get it to turn out. I don't know what I am doing. The only way I can describe it taking like dirt when I am finished with it. It's not suppose to taste like that. I haven't even started to tackle biscuits yet either.
When I was younger, I use to burn everything, which according to my family my mom did the same thing. Apparently when I was younger I manage to burn Austyn's birthday cake, but I don't remember doing that. The worst was burning a hot pocket in the microwave. How can someone do that. I have manage to not burn anything in a while. I may have overcook chicken but it wasn't burnt. That changed last night. I managed to burn potatoes that was going to be mashed potatoes. Really, how can I burn potatoes that were boiling in water? Let's just say we didn't have mash potatoes last night. Then when we went to cut the ham it was burnt as well, but in my defense I was told if I put it on low in the crock pot that it would be fine. I wouldn't consider the ham really burnt. Unlike the potatoes the ham was still edible. Actually it was pretty good. Not the best ham that I have had, but it was still good. I guess when still learning that you will still burn things.
--Rue.
One thing that I haven't gotten the hang of is making gravy. For some reason I cannot get it to turn out. I don't know what I am doing. The only way I can describe it taking like dirt when I am finished with it. It's not suppose to taste like that. I haven't even started to tackle biscuits yet either.
When I was younger, I use to burn everything, which according to my family my mom did the same thing. Apparently when I was younger I manage to burn Austyn's birthday cake, but I don't remember doing that. The worst was burning a hot pocket in the microwave. How can someone do that. I have manage to not burn anything in a while. I may have overcook chicken but it wasn't burnt. That changed last night. I managed to burn potatoes that was going to be mashed potatoes. Really, how can I burn potatoes that were boiling in water? Let's just say we didn't have mash potatoes last night. Then when we went to cut the ham it was burnt as well, but in my defense I was told if I put it on low in the crock pot that it would be fine. I wouldn't consider the ham really burnt. Unlike the potatoes the ham was still edible. Actually it was pretty good. Not the best ham that I have had, but it was still good. I guess when still learning that you will still burn things.
--Rue.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Losing a Love One is NEVER easy.
Losing someone you love is never easy. I have lost many love ones in my 25 years on this earth, and none of them have gotten any easier. What has gotten easier is coping. I have learned how I cope the easiest, and deal with my cycle of depression and grief. This is different with everyone.
Just let them know that you are there for them, and don't smother them, let them have time to grieve alone. When my dad passed away, I had a couple of people that would not let me out of my sight. I needed that time alone to process. Yes, I was 13 years old, but I just wanted some alone time. I don't know if they though I was going to off and hurt myself or what but they were constantly there. If they need a shoulder to cry on, then be that shoulder. If they are wanting to talk ask no questions and let them talk. Yes, I have had to deal with losing a love one, but I never tell them that I know what they are going through. Yes, you have lost a love one, but the situation is really different.
--Rue.
Just let them know that you are there for them, and don't smother them, let them have time to grieve alone. When my dad passed away, I had a couple of people that would not let me out of my sight. I needed that time alone to process. Yes, I was 13 years old, but I just wanted some alone time. I don't know if they though I was going to off and hurt myself or what but they were constantly there. If they need a shoulder to cry on, then be that shoulder. If they are wanting to talk ask no questions and let them talk. Yes, I have had to deal with losing a love one, but I never tell them that I know what they are going through. Yes, you have lost a love one, but the situation is really different.
--Rue.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Dealing with Tooth Pain because of My DISTRUST of dentists!
I broke off a tooth a while back, and at the time, it did not give me problems. Now, it's starting to give me problems, and hurts a lot. I need to go to the dentist, but I have a problem with going to the dentist. First when I was younger, when I first had to have a filling, the dentist ended up having to drill deeper and cause my teeth to be sensitive. So from that point on, I have been dealing with sensitive tooth pain. That started me losing my trust in dentist. Then when I was a little older, around the time I was losing my final baby teeth, the same dentist (the same dentist because due to the insurance I had he was the only one who would take it, and I couldn't go out of town for dentist) decided to pull the last two baby teeth. I at that time had pulled ALL my baby teeth on my own. My dad or anyone in my family had not helped me pull them out. My first tooth I pulled out with the strap of a Little Mermaid purse. So I go in to get these teeth pulled which I tried to pull on my own before, but they were not loose. Already not wanting to get these pulled, I go back. So they numb my mouth before they do anything. I have to have some kind of treatment on my molars, I can't remember what it was. Then after that is when they are pulling my teeth. Guess what the numbness had started to go away. Yeah! So I had two teeth pulled with the numbing wearing off. At least point, I would only go to this dentist when I had to. I got away with going to the dentist only once a year or so, basically when my insurance required me too ( my insurance at the time was through the state and if I didn't go, I could have lost my insurance).
Now, it's been a little bit since I have been to the dentist. I have lost count on how many YEARS it has been, and I know that I need to go, but I don't trust any dentist. Another reason is that I don't really have the extra cash to go at this point. Hopefully in August I will be able to go. Yes, I do have dental insurance. BUT, with the amount of work that I would need to have done, would cost a lot. Right now, my pay check has to go to other things. Dealing with the pain is my only option right now.
--Rue.
Now, it's been a little bit since I have been to the dentist. I have lost count on how many YEARS it has been, and I know that I need to go, but I don't trust any dentist. Another reason is that I don't really have the extra cash to go at this point. Hopefully in August I will be able to go. Yes, I do have dental insurance. BUT, with the amount of work that I would need to have done, would cost a lot. Right now, my pay check has to go to other things. Dealing with the pain is my only option right now.
--Rue.
Friday, June 13, 2014
A Life Update.
What's been going on in my life?
Well, the last few weeks I have found myself being depressed, but it's something that I go through this time of every year. With the anniversary of my dad's and Mamaw's death a month apart, mother's and father's day, and my mom's birthday all within a two month span, I start the grieving a little and become depressed. I tend to write more darker. And become a recluse. Well, I a recluse all year long, and it's something I need to work on. I only have a few friends outside of my family. My best friends are all out of state, one is in New York and I haven't seen her in almost two years and the other one moved to Virginia for the summer. I find it hard to make friends. When I moved to college, it took me several months to make friends.
As you know, I moved to Kentucky for four years for college, and I fell in love with the area I lived in. Several of my friends who stayed there told me I should stay, but at the time, I needed to be home. I knew mamaw was health was declining and Les's was pregnant with Lily. I felt at the time I needed to be home in Tennessee than staying in Kentucky. Now, I feel it was sort of a mistake. I felt this during the summer after graduating when I was struggling to find a job. I find myself just wanting to pack up my room and move to Kentucky where several of my friends still live from college. Actually, I find myself thinking about moving more and more here lately. If I had the money and a job set up there, I would probably move there in a heart beat. But I am broke and would need a job there. There is a bigger reason that I have not just packed up and moved back to Kentucky. LILY! If Les and Lily would move with me and I could find a job there, I would move in a heart beat.
Speaking of Lily, she is getting so big. She will be three in August, and I can't believe how time flies. She is such an entertainer, and funny. I don't know where she gets some of the stuff she comes up with.
A month ago, spring semester came to a close. This semester was harder than the first semester. I was taking 13 credit hours, with two of those being online, which was the first online classes I ever took. I learned I like being in a physical classroom than online. So next semester I will be back down to part time status because I cannot not take classes during the day because I watch Lily during the day. I do have a class that I would love to take this next semester and I am currently enrolled in the class. It is though looking like that I will have to drop it since Lily will not be able to enroll into head start until next year. Tennessee had just moved the date up for when children to start head start, and Lily missed it by 11 days. I blogged about my first semester back that I made all As and Bs, and this semester I made all As and Bs again. The two Bs, came in my online classes. I am end up having to take a couple more classes online., but I probably will avoid taking online classes unless it's a have to case.
Peaceful and Happy Thoughts,
--Rue.
Well, the last few weeks I have found myself being depressed, but it's something that I go through this time of every year. With the anniversary of my dad's and Mamaw's death a month apart, mother's and father's day, and my mom's birthday all within a two month span, I start the grieving a little and become depressed. I tend to write more darker. And become a recluse. Well, I a recluse all year long, and it's something I need to work on. I only have a few friends outside of my family. My best friends are all out of state, one is in New York and I haven't seen her in almost two years and the other one moved to Virginia for the summer. I find it hard to make friends. When I moved to college, it took me several months to make friends.
As you know, I moved to Kentucky for four years for college, and I fell in love with the area I lived in. Several of my friends who stayed there told me I should stay, but at the time, I needed to be home. I knew mamaw was health was declining and Les's was pregnant with Lily. I felt at the time I needed to be home in Tennessee than staying in Kentucky. Now, I feel it was sort of a mistake. I felt this during the summer after graduating when I was struggling to find a job. I find myself just wanting to pack up my room and move to Kentucky where several of my friends still live from college. Actually, I find myself thinking about moving more and more here lately. If I had the money and a job set up there, I would probably move there in a heart beat. But I am broke and would need a job there. There is a bigger reason that I have not just packed up and moved back to Kentucky. LILY! If Les and Lily would move with me and I could find a job there, I would move in a heart beat.
Speaking of Lily, she is getting so big. She will be three in August, and I can't believe how time flies. She is such an entertainer, and funny. I don't know where she gets some of the stuff she comes up with.
A month ago, spring semester came to a close. This semester was harder than the first semester. I was taking 13 credit hours, with two of those being online, which was the first online classes I ever took. I learned I like being in a physical classroom than online. So next semester I will be back down to part time status because I cannot not take classes during the day because I watch Lily during the day. I do have a class that I would love to take this next semester and I am currently enrolled in the class. It is though looking like that I will have to drop it since Lily will not be able to enroll into head start until next year. Tennessee had just moved the date up for when children to start head start, and Lily missed it by 11 days. I blogged about my first semester back that I made all As and Bs, and this semester I made all As and Bs again. The two Bs, came in my online classes. I am end up having to take a couple more classes online., but I probably will avoid taking online classes unless it's a have to case.
Peaceful and Happy Thoughts,
--Rue.
Ugg... Spiders.
I absolutely hate spiders. I am actually I am afraid of them. It's an irrational fear. I have no clue why I have a fear of spiders. When I was 15, with my learner's permit, I was getting the paper out of the paper box, and all I saw was a spider drop from the paper so with out thinking, I just out of the van that I was driving. I had not put it in park, and if it wasn't for Steven, I would have been ran over. All because I though a spider was on me. Come to find out it was a dead spider, but in my mind, all I saw was spider and had to get away.
The last few weeks, I have been in my room and have found several spiders. Last night, I was reading in bed, and felt like something was crawling on me. Behold, it was a spider. I freaked out, especially when I was trying to kill it the little bugger would not die. It is extremely hard to kill a spider on your bed. The bed is too soft and when you put something on the spider it does smash it. I ended up taking my book that I had and putting it on top of the spider and then sliding the book up and down until the dang thing was dead. Yes, the spider was dead, but my mind played tricks on me the rest of the night. I felt like the whole night something was crawling on me. It was awful. I really need to try and get out my fear of spiders, and spray my room. Peppermint oil is supposed to help.
--Rue.
The last few weeks, I have been in my room and have found several spiders. Last night, I was reading in bed, and felt like something was crawling on me. Behold, it was a spider. I freaked out, especially when I was trying to kill it the little bugger would not die. It is extremely hard to kill a spider on your bed. The bed is too soft and when you put something on the spider it does smash it. I ended up taking my book that I had and putting it on top of the spider and then sliding the book up and down until the dang thing was dead. Yes, the spider was dead, but my mind played tricks on me the rest of the night. I felt like the whole night something was crawling on me. It was awful. I really need to try and get out my fear of spiders, and spray my room. Peppermint oil is supposed to help.
--Rue.
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Fading Memory.
I was five when my mom passed away, and her memory is fading. I don't remember her voice. I don't remember her hugs. And what I do remember I am not completely sure is my own. I don't know if it's something my family has told me or something I have dreamed about and completely made up. Something I thought for years, I had to ask my Mamaw if I made it up, and she told me that I came to her about it after the funeral. I don't want to bring it up for it's very personal.
Things I do remember about my mom is about the night she entered the hospital and what had happened. I remember waking up to my Mamaw and Aunt Sue saying mom had been taken to the hospital. I remember not going to see my mom while she was in the hospital for several hours because I over heard the doctor's and my dad talking about doing a test on her brain. I thought this test was going to involve them shaving her head, and I did not want to see my mom bald. This test they were talking about was to see if my mom had any brain activity. I didn't know that. I was only 5. I don't remember if I knew my mom was dying. How would you tell a 5 year old that her mom was not going to be there anymore? I do think I knew what death was for at the beginning of the year, I had lost my Papaw, my mom's dad, and earlier in life lost my uncle and my dad's dad. When my mom was taken off life support and her heart stopped beating, my mamaw told me that I ran to the first nurse and told her my mom's heart had stopped, but I don't remember it.
The only part of the funeral I remember is that I was running in and out of the chapel to the family viewing room. Which I never got why the funeral home had a family viewing area for the funeral and you were separated from friends and other family in the chapel. Shouldn't the family be with the other mourners? Didn't get it then and don't get it now. I was running to my family and to my mom's close friend who I referred to as "Granny." Then I got in trouble for it. I do remember my dad getting on to me for it.
I remember a lot of random things from my childhood, and most of the things I remember members of my family don't. But when it comes to my mom, I just don't have those memories. I want to know who my mom was, and how much I am like her. Would she be proud of who I become?
Things I do remember about my mom is about the night she entered the hospital and what had happened. I remember waking up to my Mamaw and Aunt Sue saying mom had been taken to the hospital. I remember not going to see my mom while she was in the hospital for several hours because I over heard the doctor's and my dad talking about doing a test on her brain. I thought this test was going to involve them shaving her head, and I did not want to see my mom bald. This test they were talking about was to see if my mom had any brain activity. I didn't know that. I was only 5. I don't remember if I knew my mom was dying. How would you tell a 5 year old that her mom was not going to be there anymore? I do think I knew what death was for at the beginning of the year, I had lost my Papaw, my mom's dad, and earlier in life lost my uncle and my dad's dad. When my mom was taken off life support and her heart stopped beating, my mamaw told me that I ran to the first nurse and told her my mom's heart had stopped, but I don't remember it.
The only part of the funeral I remember is that I was running in and out of the chapel to the family viewing room. Which I never got why the funeral home had a family viewing area for the funeral and you were separated from friends and other family in the chapel. Shouldn't the family be with the other mourners? Didn't get it then and don't get it now. I was running to my family and to my mom's close friend who I referred to as "Granny." Then I got in trouble for it. I do remember my dad getting on to me for it.
I remember a lot of random things from my childhood, and most of the things I remember members of my family don't. But when it comes to my mom, I just don't have those memories. I want to know who my mom was, and how much I am like her. Would she be proud of who I become?
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